Factors that Make a Relationship Healthy

If you want to have a romantic relationship, you probably need a healthy one. But what’s a healthy relationship? Well, it depends on different factors. Every person has unique needs when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship. These needs include communication, affection, personal space, and values. Recognizing that these needs may evolve and change over time is important. So, a relationship that works in your 20s may differ from the one you desire in your 30s. Relationships can still be healthy even if they don't fit into traditional norms. In simple words, the term "healthy relationship" is broad because the factors contributing to a successful relationship vary depending on the individuals involved and their specific needs. But there are a few clear indications of a thriving relationship.

What it looks like

According to therapist Lindsey Antin from Berkeley, California, a crucial aspect of healthy relationships is their ability to adapt to changing circumstances and the natural progression of life's phases. Let's take a closer look at some key characteristics of healthy relationships.

Open communication

In healthy relationships, partners usually communicate about their achievements, setbacks, and everything in between. You should discuss any issues in your everyday life, whether related to work, friends, mental health, or finances. Effective communication involves both partners expressing their thoughts and concerns. It's important to ensure the other person feels comfortable sharing their ideas.

Trust

Building trust in a relationship requires honesty and integrity. It means being open and transparent with one another and not keeping secrets. Trust also involves feeling secure when apart. Trust involves more than just believing someone won't deceive you. It also means feeling secure and at ease with them, knowing they won't cause you harm either physically or emotionally. You have confidence that they prioritize your well-being and respect your decision-making ability.

Curiosity

A crucial aspect of a healthy, long-lasting relationship is curiosity about your partner. It involves showing genuine interest in their thoughts, goals, and daily life and supporting them to become their best version. It's important to avoid fixating on their past or trying to change them into someone they're not. Instead, you should have an open mind and be willing to adapt your relationship as needed. Additionally, it's essential to see your partner for who they truly are and care about them as a person.

Time apart

In healthy relationships, spending time together is a top priority. However, the time spent together depends on individual needs, commitments, living situations, and other factors. Acknowledging the need for personal space and time alone is important. It could involve pursuing hobbies, visiting friends or family, or simply relaxing solo. Remember that spending every moment together is not necessary, and some time apart can benefit the relationship.

Teamwork

A strong relationship can be likened to a team where both partners work together and support each other, even if they have differing opinions or goals. They have each other's backs, knowing they can rely on one another during difficult times and provide help whenever needed.

Conflict resolution

It's normal to have disagreements and feel frustrated or angry with your partner, even in a good relationship. It doesn't mean your relationship is unhealthy. What's important is how you handle conflicts. You're doing well if you can discuss your differences respectfully and honestly. Couples who approach conflicts without judging can often find a way to compromise or resolve the issue.

Relationship red flags

A healthy relationship should bring you happiness, fulfilment, and a deeper connection. If you often feel anxious, unhappy, or distressed in the presence of your partner, it may be a sign that your relationship is struggling. Remember that signs of an unhealthy relationship can be diverse, but this list can help you identify some of the potential issues.

One of you tries to control or change the other

According to Antin, we cannot control other people's behavior. However, if you have concerns about someone's actions, it is acceptable to share your feelings and ask them to consider making changes. Trying to control their behavior or telling them what to do is unacceptable. If their actions are unacceptable to you and you cannot tolerate them, the relationship may not be viable in the long term.

Your partner doesn't respect your boundaries

In a relationship, boundaries are essential. They cover various aspects, from respectful communication to privacy needs. Setting a boundary is vital; if your partner disregards or tries to change it, this is a significant warning sign. It's crucial to restate your boundary and ensure that your partner understands and respects it.

The relationship feels unequal

In healthy relationships, there is usually a sense of balance. Finances may be shared equally, or one partner may compensate for a lower income by doing more errands. However, equality in a relationship can also extend to less tangible aspects like communication, affection, and shared expectations. Occasional periods of inequality can occur within a relationship, such as a temporary loss of income, illness, or emotional turmoil. However, consistent feelings of imbalance can lead to problems within the relationship.

You don’t spend much time together

When people enjoy spending time together, they often develop relationships and want to be together even more. Although life events can sometimes interfere but these changes are temporary. Your relationship might be struggling if you consistently see less of each other without any clear reason, such as family difficulties or increased work responsibilities. Other warning signs include feeling distant from each other or relieved when you aren't together. You might even start making excuses to avoid spending time together.

They say negative or hurtful things about you or others

It's fine to express your concern when your partner's actions worry you. However, in a healthy relationship, partners tend to communicate their feelings constructively and supportively. Constantly criticizing each other or saying intentionally hurtful things, especially about personal choices like food, clothing, or TV shows, is unhealthy. Criticism that makes you feel ashamed or lowers your self-esteem is typically unproductive.

You don’t feel heard in the relationship

Perhaps you feel ignored when discussing a problem or sharing your thoughts because the other person seems uninterested. Alternatively, you might struggle to express your opinions or discuss important matters because you fear being dismissed. Moreover, misunderstandings can occur if you have a conversation with them and they appear open to your views but fail to follow through or seem to forget the conversation; this is also a cause for concern.

You don't feel happy or comfortable around your partner

Many people aim to achieve higher happiness and life satisfaction in their relationships. If constant feelings of unease or unhappiness persist, it may be a sign that your needs are unmet in the relationship. It's important to recognize that people naturally change over time, which can lead to feeling dissatisfied and trapped. It doesn't necessarily mean that either person has done something "wrong" but may have evolved into different individuals who are no longer compatible.

Questions to ask yourself

Determining the health of a relationship can be challenging as each one may require different standards. However, you can self-test by asking yourself a few questions to gain guidance and insight.

Is your relationship healthy?

Ask yourself:

• Does my partner support me to grow?
• Do we share plans for the future?
• Can I be myself around them?
• Do I accept them as they are?
• Do we give and take from each other equally?
• Does our time together have meaning?

If you answered mostly yes, your relationship is likely b.

Tips for a stronger relationship

If you've recognized any of the warning signs in your relationship, couples counseling may be beneficial. According to Antin, couples therapy allows two individuals to work on themselves together. Seeking help doesn't equate to failure but showcases a desire for improvement and growth in the relationship. Even the most solid relationships can benefit from additional effort, so here are some tips to ensure things progress positively.

Embrace each other’s differences

Antin suggests that you and your partner may have different levels of ambition - one may be more adventurous, while the other enjoys staying at home. This can be a positive dynamic, allowing for a balance of activities and responsibilities. One person can lead in planning outings, while the other enjoys keeping things cozy at home.

Solve problems as a team

To effectively solve problems, partners should work together and avoid blaming or criticizing each other. Unity and collective effort are important in finding solutions. By focusing on the problem at hand rather than pointing fingers, couples can engage in more effective problem-solving. This approach creates a positive and constructive environment in the relationship, where both partners' skills and perspectives are valued.

Consider their perspective

Being open-minded and considerate of your partner's perspective is crucial for a healthy relationship. Avoid imposing your views and show curiosity about how they perceive and approach things. This mindset promotes mutual respect and empathy, strengthening bonds and creating room for healthy communication. Couples can cultivate a more harmonious and satisfying relationship by valuing and appreciating each other's perspectives.

Try something new together

Try doing something new together if your relationship has become stagnant or lacks direction. By trying new experiences and changing your surroundings, you can create fresh memories, reignite passion, and strengthen your bond. It's important to embrace novelty and new adventures to keep your relationship vibrant and fulfilling.

Talk about your goals and dreams

Communication about goals and dreams is crucial in a healthy relationship. It helps couples to reconnect and ensure they still share similar values and hopes. By openly discussing their aspirations, couples can improve their understanding of each other's desires and create a shared vision for the future. This process encourages mutual support and fosters a sense of togetherness.

If you want to have a romantic relationship, you probably need a healthy one. But what’s a healthy relationship? Well, it depends on different factors. Every person has unique needs when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship. These needs include communication, affection, personal space, and values. Recognizing that these needs may evolve and change over time is important. So, a relationship that works in your 20s may differ from the one you desire in your 30s. Relationships can still be healthy even if they don't fit into traditional norms. In simple words, the term "healthy relationship" is broad because the factors contributing to a successful relationship vary depending on the individuals involved and their specific needs. But there are a few clear indications of a thriving relationship.

What it looks like

According to therapist Lindsey Antin from Berkeley, California, a crucial aspect of healthy relationships is their ability to adapt to changing circumstances and the natural progression of life's phases. Let's take a closer look at some key characteristics of healthy relationships.

Open communication

In healthy relationships, partners usually communicate about their achievements, setbacks, and everything in between. You should discuss any issues in your everyday life, whether related to work, friends, mental health, or finances. Effective communication involves both partners expressing their thoughts and concerns. It's important to ensure the other person feels comfortable sharing their ideas.

Trust

Building trust in a relationship requires honesty and integrity. It means being open and transparent with one another and not keeping secrets. Trust also involves feeling secure when apart. Trust involves more than just believing someone won't deceive you. It also means feeling secure and at ease with them, knowing they won't cause you harm either physically or emotionally. You have confidence that they prioritize your well-being and respect your decision-making ability.

Curiosity

A crucial aspect of a healthy, long-lasting relationship is curiosity about your partner. It involves showing genuine interest in their thoughts, goals, and daily life and supporting them to become their best version. It's important to avoid fixating on their past or trying to change them into someone they're not. Instead, you should have an open mind and be willing to adapt your relationship as needed. Additionally, it's essential to see your partner for who they truly are and care about them as a person.

Time apart

In healthy relationships, spending time together is a top priority. However, the time spent together depends on individual needs, commitments, living situations, and other factors. Acknowledging the need for personal space and time alone is important. It could involve pursuing hobbies, visiting friends or family, or simply relaxing solo. Remember that spending every moment together is not necessary, and some time apart can benefit the relationship.

Teamwork

A b relationship can be likened to a team where both partners work together and support each other, even if they have differing opinions or goals. They have each other's backs, knowing they can rely on one another during difficult times and provide help whenever needed.

Conflict resolution

It's normal to have disagreements and feel frustrated or angry with your partner, even in a good relationship. It doesn't mean your relationship is unhealthy. What's important is how you handle conflicts. You're doing well if you can discuss your differences respectfully and honestly. Couples who approach conflicts without judging can often find a way to compromise or resolve the issue.

Relationship red flags

A healthy relationship should bring you happiness, fulfilment, and a deeper connection. If you often feel anxious, unhappy, or distressed in the presence of your partner, it may be a sign that your relationship is struggling. Remember that signs of an unhealthy relationship can be diverse, but this list can help you identify some of the potential issues.

One of you tries to control or change the other

According to Antin, we cannot control other people's behavior. However, if you have concerns about someone's actions, it is acceptable to share your feelings and ask them to consider making changes. Trying to control their behavior or telling them what to do is unacceptable. If their actions are unacceptable to you and you cannot tolerate them, the relationship may not be viable in the long term.

Your partner doesn't respect your boundaries

In a relationship, boundaries are essential. They cover various aspects, from respectful communication to privacy needs. Setting a boundary is vital; if your partner disregards or tries to change it, this is a significant warning sign. It's crucial to restate your boundary and ensure that your partner understands and respects it.

The relationship feels unequal

In healthy relationships, there is usually a sense of balance. Finances may be shared equally, or one partner may compensate for a lower income by doing more errands. However, equality in a relationship can also extend to less tangible aspects like communication, affection, and shared expectations. Occasional periods of inequality can occur within a relationship, such as a temporary loss of income, illness, or emotional turmoil. However, consistent feelings of imbalance can lead to problems within the relationship.

You don’t spend much time together

When people enjoy spending time together, they often develop relationships and want to be together even more. Although life events can sometimes interfere but these changes are temporary. Your relationship might be struggling if you consistently see less of each other without any clear reason, such as family difficulties or increased work responsibilities. Other warning signs include feeling distant from each other or relieved when you aren't together. You might even start making excuses to avoid spending time together.

They say negative or hurtful things about you or others

It's fine to express your concern when your partner's actions worry you. However, in a healthy relationship, partners tend to communicate their feelings constructively and supportively. Constantly criticizing each other or saying intentionally hurtful things, especially about personal choices like food, clothing, or TV shows, is unhealthy. Criticism that makes you feel ashamed or lowers your self-esteem is typically unproductive.

You don’t feel heard in the relationship

Perhaps you feel ignored when discussing a problem or sharing your thoughts because the other person seems uninterested. Alternatively, you might struggle to express your opinions or discuss important matters because you fear being dismissed. Moreover, misunderstandings can occur if you have a conversation with them and they appear open to your views but fail to follow through or seem to forget the conversation; this is also a cause for concern.

You don't feel happy or comfortable around your partner

Many people aim to achieve higher happiness and life satisfaction in their relationships. If constant feelings of unease or unhappiness persist, it may be a sign that your needs are unmet in the relationship. It's important to recognize that people naturally change over time, which can lead to feeling dissatisfied and trapped. It doesn't necessarily mean that either person has done something "wrong" but may have evolved into different individuals who are no longer compatible.

Questions to ask yourself

Determining the health of a relationship can be challenging as each one may require different standards. However, you can self-test by asking yourself a few questions to gain guidance and insight.

Is your relationship healthy?

Ask yourself:

• Does my partner support me to grow?
• Do we share plans for the future?
• Can I be myself around them?
• Do I accept them as they are?
• Do we give and take from each other equally?
• Does our time together have meaning?

If you answered mostly yes, your relationship is likely b.

Tips for a stronger relationship

If you've recognized any of the warning signs in your relationship, couples counseling may be beneficial. According to Antin, couples therapy allows two individuals to work on themselves together. Seeking help doesn't equate to failure but showcases a desire for improvement and growth in the relationship. Even the most solid relationships can benefit from additional effort, so here are some tips to ensure things progress positively.

Embrace each other’s differences

Antin suggests that you and your partner may have different levels of ambition - one may be more adventurous, while the other enjoys staying at home. This can be a positive dynamic, allowing for a balance of activities and responsibilities. One person can lead in planning outings, while the other enjoys keeping things cozy at home.

Solve problems as a team

To effectively solve problems, partners should work together and avoid blaming or criticizing each other. Unity and collective effort are important in finding solutions. By focusing on the problem at hand rather than pointing fingers, couples can engage in more effective problem-solving. This approach creates a positive and constructive environment in the relationship, where both partners' skills and perspectives are valued.

Consider their perspective

Being open-minded and considerate of your partner's perspective is crucial for a healthy relationship. Avoid imposing your views and show curiosity about how they perceive and approach things. This mindset promotes mutual respect and empathy, strengthening bonds and creating room for healthy communication. Couples can cultivate a more harmonious and satisfying relationship by valuing and appreciating each other's perspectives.

Try something new together

Try doing something new together if your relationship has become stagnant or lacks direction. By trying new experiences and changing your surroundings, you can create fresh memories, reignite passion, and strengthen your bond. It's important to embrace novelty and new adventures to keep your relationship vibrant and fulfilling.

Talk about your goals and dreams

Communication about goals and dreams is crucial in a healthy relationship. It helps couples to reconnect and ensure they still share similar values and hopes. By openly discussing their aspirations, couples can improve their understanding of each other's desires and create a shared vision for the future. This process encourages mutual support and fosters a sense of togetherness.